Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize