I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
