I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it's like iHOP with fire
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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