we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
