Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
