I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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