I'm lost and stupid without you.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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