It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
