I've blown a few things in my day
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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