So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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