Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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