if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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