tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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