Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I will be naked everywhere
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
