I think im going to throw up on grandma
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
