Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
