I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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