if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
