Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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