im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
