I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
