hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
