It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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