Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
