Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
