PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
