He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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