Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
