i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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