you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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