They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
