There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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