I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
