Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
this is an emotional support booty call
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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