I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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