I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
