I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster