shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
My cat gives me a boner
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.