i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
third nipple confirmed
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
