I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
