On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
