dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize