she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
