His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize