TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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