But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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