There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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