so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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