worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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