Life is so much better after having sex.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
