I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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