hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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