i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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