What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends