One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Where is the hickey?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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