A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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