How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
