i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
